April 2, 2005, Deseret Morning News (Salt Lake City, Utah, 2005)
In her new book, Better Than You Think You Are, Ardeth G. Kapp preaches what she practices. She writes: “Notes of encouragement, even to strangers, can have a lasting impact on the sender as well as the receiver.”
The comment sent me scuttling to my files. For many years Sister Kapp served on the paper’s board of directors. I’ve kept about a dozen notes she sent me. Each is specific in detail, personal and sincere. Each, I remember, served as a quiet gust of wind to fill my sails.
Better Than You Think You Are is filled with many such suggestions. Sister Kapp has experimented with the word over the years and found it tried and true. In her eyes passages of scripture are like birth announcements; the texts of hymns are singing telegrams. Her book itself is a lyrical letter of encouragement.
She directs her words to the sisters of the LDS Church,* but as with so much of the LDS Church meant for women, any man willing to listen in will be doubly rewarded. He will not only gain insights into life but insights into the hearts of women.
And what is in the hearts of women? The same things that are in most hearts: a desire to feel of worth. We don’t always want to be humored, defended, deferred or watched over. But we do want to see in the eyes of others that our ideas, deeds and lives have value. And that value has always been there — like a seed in a dollop of amber.
“We did not come to this earth to gain our worth.” Sister Kapp writes, “We brought it with us.”
In other words, we are better than we think we are.
As I read through the chapters — “Doubt Not, Fear Not,” “Cherish the Time,” “Arise and Shine Forth” — I found myself thinking about the word “self.”
In this era of self-service, self-importance and self-indulgence, we sometimes shy away from talking about our own self-confidence and self-worth because it sounds, well, it sounds self-centered.
But it was Oswald Chambers who pointed out that sometimes what appears to be a humble attitude to other people looks like pride in the eyes of God.
Chambers writes:
“I’m not a saint.” Say that before God and it means, “No, Lord, it is impossible for You to save and sanctify me; there are chances I have not had; so many imperfections in my brain and body. No, Lord, it isn’t possible.” That may sound wonderfully humble before men, but before God, it is an attitude of defiance.… One individual life may be of priceless value to God’s purposes, and yours may be that life.
Or as Elder Neal A. Maxwell had it, “We cannot build up the kingdom steadily if we are constantly tearing ourselves down.”
As I finished Sister Kapp’s book, I was struck by her final thought: “With the help of God, we can shine as he would have us shine. we can be better than we think we are.”
It is a simple yet profound thought. As she points out, the tiniest children sing it in “Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam.” It is a thought that — in one form or another — crosses the minds of all prophets, popes and preachers.
I’ve jotted it down to include in a few notes of encouragement.
* The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, cf. ldschurch.org for more information.