Port Hedland, W.A., Australia
Sunday, 19 August 1990:
Today was a good day, sort of.
I’m now in Port Hedland — living in South Hedland.
I’m with Elder [Philip] Watson now.
He’s a good man; I’m trying to help him be better.
Right now I’m sick as a dog and I’m going to bed.
I’ll continue tomorrow.
Monday, 20 August 1990:
It’s almost 1:00 in the morning and I thought this was such a momentous occasion that I should definitely say something in my journal.
The first time ever on my mission when I actually woke up before 6:00 a.m. or so.
I mean woke up and actually got out of bed and did something (bathroom).
I’m now not quite so sick any more.
My headache is gone but my face seems to be really hot.
My fever is gone, mostly, but it feels like I got sunburned really bad or something on Saturday.
We had an activity here at the chapel playing ball and stuff.
I feel so slack.
We’ve had a young adult activity and we didn’t even have a prayer.
I really feel bad about it.
Oh well, next week.
It’s now night time.
I’m still sick as anything.
Everything is running smoothly up here in the Northwest.
I definitely think that it is time to have another baptism up here.
We’ve just got to start to commit these people to have the discussions so that they can be converted and eventually be baptized really soon.
My mission is hard, but I love it.
Tuesday, 28 August 1990:
Well, we just got back from our little holiday down in Karratha.
On Sunday after church I figured it was good to go down to Karratha for a few days.
So I prayed about it and really felt peace about it, so we left at about 3:00 p.m. and traveled to Karratha.
As soon as we got there, we went to Mama Love’s place (we rang before; had to see if we could stay there).
She had this big feed waiting for us.
Then we went to the thing that was supposed to be at the chapel, but no one showed up.
So we went to the Foley’s [Frederick & Darleine] for the evening until about 7:30 p.m.
Then we went to the sisters’ and had a good yakin with them, then back to Mama Love’s for a nice hot drink to sooth us.
Then Monday morning we went over and did our washing first thing then worked[?] the car.
After that sort of loafed around with the sisters.
I found out that I didn’t have any aerograms, so I didn’t write any letters this week (slack).
At about 12 o’clock we left with the Foley’s, Mama Love and Sister Kennedy and Lauzé to go to a picnic.
The spot they chose was 40 km away, so we had a nice little drive out to it.
Had lunch, took a photo, then went home.
I had a good nap that I wish had lasted longer, then we had a D[istrict] P[rayer] M[eeting] over at the Foley’s.
I really like the Foleys; they’re a great couple to be around.
At the DPM we played the game when one person sits in the middle and everyone says one good thing about that person.
I got some very interesting comments about myself.
After spending a little more time down there and especially with Sister Kennedy, I really feel a deep bond with her.
We have a kind of friendship and mutual trust that I just don’t want to lose.
I really love her heaps.
She’s a very spiritual person who is able to listen to the Spirit in a way that she is able to understand what He is saying to her.
I’m very glad that I was able to meet her on my mission and that I was able to be her leader.
I think that I learned more from her on our trip down there than anyone else learned from myself.
I’ve still got this silly cough.
It just hasn’t gone away and I don’t have any money to go to the doctor and get some pills.
I don’t know what I’m going to do about it.
You know, it was really good to be able to see the sisters ([Josephine Mary] Long, [Aileen] Daley) up here when we got back.
I really love to be around them.
I think I’ve learned more about being nice to people and being hospitable, up here while I’ve been in the North than in any other place in the whole mission that I’ve been to.
I’m glad I came up here to the North.
Sometimes I wish I never came and could leave, but most of the time I [am] too overjoyed at the hardships that I go through to worry about wanting to leave.
Thursday, 30 August 1990:
Well, another month has gone by and I didn’t baptize anyone.
I found out yesterday that Elder Watson (my companion) hasn’t baptized his whole mission.
I didn’t know that before.
I always thought that he had at least a few times.
I really want to help him to be able to baptize.
I think I know why he doesn’t baptize.
It’s mainly because his committing skills are way lacking.
I’m going to really work with this fellow and help him as much as I can.
I’m finding it quite hard myself up here in the Northwest Zone.
I don’t feel like I’ve actually accomplished very much.
I feel like the last 1½ months of the Northwest have been pretty slack and fruitless.
I’m sure that somewhere out there there is someone who will join the Church.
There just has to be someone.
I really want to work hard and be the best that I can, but I just don’t know how to be a great missionary.
Sometimes I don’t really feel like I [am] actually on a mission any more.
I’ve still got my companion, but I feel somewhat lost and don’t know where to turn.
I think that now is the time for me to start to really push forward with all diligence and actually start to help these people up here.
I hope so much when I get released, that the Lord can say, “Well done thou good and faithful servant.”
Right now, I don’t know if He would say that, but in another 2½ months I truly hope that He will.
I want so badly to just, “Do the right thing.”
You will want to work diligently when you understand the sacred and urgent nature of your calling.
I’ve really been thinking today about what I am and what I’m supposed to be doing.
I’m a missionary and I need to be more diligent at this time in my mission.
I keep looking for some kind of excuse as to why I don’t feel the Spirit like I used to and why I don’t feel I’m actually being led anywhere, why I feel a withdrawal of something.
I haven’t lost the Spirit totally yet.
I know today, while working with the children, I sent someone out and felt an uneasy, yuchy feeling inside.
So He’s still there, I think, basically because I don’t feel uncomfortable and eirie inside.
I guess I just am feeling that my work that I try to put in is not fruitful.
I’m not reeping a mighty harvest and I can’t figure out what I need to do.
I think my motives are right, but then again, thoughts keep coming into my mind like,
“You’ve got to baptize, so that [the] president will feel good about you or trust you …” or
“Baptize by next transfers, so you’ll be able to stay in the Northwest.”
I know once my motives are pure then the rest will fall into place.
I’ll baptize when my desire to baptize is for the right reason.
I want to work hard, baptize, be diligent, have the Spirit, teach heaps of people, help people progress past our social pool, commit people to His commandments.
But, why do I want to do these things?
Friday, 31 August 1990:
Today has been a lot better than lately.
I’m very much improving and getting better.
I feel like I’m well on my way to recovering.
I’m definitely still searching to try to find myself and hopefully I will be able to, as soon as possible.
I’ll still keep searching and praying to know what I need to do to baptize.
I don’t feel that the proper sacrifices and goals are being set forth also I haven’t been covenanting with the Lord (I’m sure that would help out in some special way).
This week is Fast Sunday.
I’ll be very glad to be able to fast and ask for special help.
Sunday, 2 September 1990:
It’s been a great weekend.
I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.
It’s too late now: 10:28 p.m.
Monday, 3 September 1990:
Once again it’s too late to say very much, so I’ll try again tomorrow.
By the way, a General Authority is coming here tomorrow and we’re having a fireside.
I reckon it should be great.
Tuesday, 4 September 1990:
Today I’ve got about ten minutes to write.
Today was extra special. President Innis and President Banks and their wives came up to see us all.
We picked them all up at the airport, all six of us.
And then [we] went out to dinner with them; President Innis shorted the feed.
At 7:00 p.m. we had a fireside and we had the largest turnout ever, about 40 people; it was great.
I’m finally starting to figure out who I am and what I want to be.
I really have a desire to baptize in Port Hedland, but also a desire to teach and baptize all people.
The sisters now have lined up two baptisms for the next two weeks, plus they have two more probably on the way.
On the other hand our road seems very hard.
Not much hope in sight for us.
Though Sister Banks talked about persistence and President Banks talked about our coming tribulation.
I really really enjoyed the fireside.
I took lots of notes and I’ll go over them tomorrow morning.
I’ve got an awful lot of things going on in my mind and I’m finally starting to find myself and figure out what life’s all about and where I’m fitting in.
I really do love it up here; I really do.
I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be in the “Big Smoke” and hopefully will never find out.
I really do love the work up here.
It looks like we’ll need to be getting a heap of opposition pretty soon.
I don’t know a lot on when, but we are ready.
Baptize; we’ve got to baptize.
(prob.) Tuesday, 4 September 1990: Exercise
Wednesday, 5 September 1990:
We had a great little meeting with Elder Banks this morning at 9:00 for two hours.
It was great to look at a General Authority and sit at his feet and learn from him and listen to his words.
I took two pages of notes and it was great.
The whole day I felt really excited about the work and really wanted to help them move forward (investigate).
I really wanted to share this great message with the people and still do now.
Thursday, 6 September 1990:
Today I’ve got a bit more time.
I enjoyed today.
This morning I woke up about on time, but it took me a while to get all ready and going.
It looks like [the] president will be opening up Tom Price for about a month for missionaries and this morning I arranged for them a place to stay.
It’s only $20 per week for the whole lot.
After that we went to the hospital.
It looks like we will be able to do a bit of extra work up there.
Sister Long and Daley have really been bogged down with heaps of things to do and tomorrow we will talk about some things that we can do to help them out.
A lot of people are going to need some contact, but the sisters aren’t really able to give them all the attention they need.
So we are going to help out when we can.
Our purpose as missionaries is that of getting convert baptisms, and that’s what we really need to do; not for my own glory, but for Heavenly Father’s.
Mighty Harvest?
Thursday, 6 September 1990:
Today was the best day in Port Hedland District that I’ve had.
We went over to Shannon & Casey’s house for tea and got in to a discussion.
And he told us that he wanted to get baptized.
I really want Heavenly Father to know how grateful I am, but I just can’t express my gratitude.
I know it’s going to be a long hard road ahead and he’s going to need a lot of support and help.
The only thing is [is] that Casey is choosing not to get baptized yet.
She’s the one that first met the missionaries when she was young (15); they’ve had the discussions about three times; now it’s time to have them again.
Shannon’s got a few concerns, but nothing that (with God’s help) the Book of Mormon and Elder Watson, myself, and the Spirit can’t handle together.
We are merely His instruments.
Also Sister Long wanted a blessing this morning and I really had a beautiful experience giving it to her.
The Lord just let me know what I needed to say and it seemed that it might have been the right thing to say.
I noticed that the blessing really touched her, because she was crying.
I love to feel the Spirit.
I love the power of the Priesthood and I love my Heavenly Father.
Now’s the time for a mighty Harvest!!
Monday, 10 September 1990:
This weekend was really a good last few days.
Today was P-Day and we got all done with everything by 1:00 p.m. so that was really good.
I was pleased with us.
Saturday was really humid; it was incredible; I couldn’t believe it; really hot and sticky.
The activity was really hard to get people up and going; it was so hot and muggy.
On Sunday I had a really happy, joyful occasion.
A girl by the name of Rhodelessa Maria Kelly asked me last week if I would baptize her on the 9th of Sept.
I was really pleased.
It was the first time anyone asked when I accepted.
So after church we held a baptismal service for Rhodelessa and it went really well.
I don’t know whether I’ve ever really felt the Spirit so strong as I did then.
Well, actually I have many times before, but this one time is so hard to describe.
I felt so good.
And most assuredly asking I did indeed feel at peace — peace within myself: feeling that I was worthy to perform the ordinance and peace with God, that He recognized it.
I really had a good time.
Tonight we got to lift each other’s spirits up a bit more.
I had everyone write on a piece of paper, stuck to their back with a pin, something good they liked about that person.
It really seemed to work well.
No one really had a problem identifying positive things.
I’m really glad to be here.
Everyone had a good time and got a surprise [?] out of it.
You know, I’ve really grown [to have] a deep appreciation and love for both Sister Kennedy and Sister Long.
I was talking to Sister Kennedy on Sunday night and I couldn’t help but feel this type of love for her.
It wasn’t anything that I need to be ashamed of — a scared of the type of love I suppose the kind that I would have for my sister.
I suppose that’s what she is, my sister.
I’m really grateful to be able to serve with her.
But, you know, I also feel some of those same feelings for Sister Long.
Sister Long is from Darwin.
She is 22 years old and a very lovely sister.
Her personality is one of love for all of these people up here.
She’s an aboriginal girl who of course would have grown up around aboriginals so she would have no problem getting to know people.
She’s so outgoing that it’s honestly a just plain inspiration to watch her spread her love around.
Right now she seems to be getting heaps of opposition and [be] really having a hard time.
Tonight in correlation I really felt weird, like something was wrong, and then she asked me, “Do you have something to share with me?”
And I said, “Yes,” but I had no idea what it was.
So I asked her some questions that the Spirit dictated to me and now I know some of what she’s going through.
She’ll be fine.
She’s a good lady.
I think that after we get back from on missions, I’ll tell her that: the type of lady she is is just the type of wife that I want.
I really do think that it wouldn’t be very smart for either of us to get married to each other.
Now, don’t worry.
It’s not another Edmonds thing (p. 110).
Anyway, I’ve fallen in love with some attribute that she possesses and that’s all; not her, but some of her attributes.
Tuesday, 11 September 1990:
Today was my companion’s birthday; it was really exciting.
Yesterday we sang “Happy Birthday” to him at the DPM and then today I tried to tell lots of people about it.
He got a package, which was full of lovely prizes: a few socks, a tie, writing paper, and candy.
I hope that when my birthday comes, my parents don’t send me anything.
It’s kind of a waste of money since I’ll be seeing them in a few weeks.
Time is really going by.
There really is one thing that I definitely need to work on and that would be:
I need to rid myself of pride.
I really think that I think too much of myself.
My companion is a very simple sort of fellow and very humble.
He’s not an assertive type at all, actually far from it.
He’s starting to come out of his shell, which, as silly as it may seem, seems to be a bit disturbing to me.
What I need to do is recognize that he needs to do all he can to be his best.
Then when he does, congratulate him and try to help him do better and always be improving.
I really need to help him more — especially to baptize.
It looks like Shanon is getting cold feet.
We’ve really got to help him, but I know we can baptize him.
“Always be finding” needs to be our motto.
Wednesday, 12 September 1990:
Today was an all right day.
This morning I was feeling a bit low and needed a boost.
We came home after I tried to think of some things to do, then had some lunch.
I can’t believe the things which I eat.
Then we went out again.
I really feel that I need to “lengthen my stride” and really get going.
I’m sure that Heavenly Father would bless us to have success and have baptisms if we really got out there and did our best.
Sometimes I wonder how long my faith will be tested and where this “mighty harvest” is to happen that it talks about in my patriarchal blessing.
I need to increase in faith and works.
I really need to be more creative and out-going and really help to strengthen my companion and be more cheerful and happy and let people know that I’m happy to be here and that I want to help them in any way that I can.
I’ve go to increase my effort and do more — a little more, a little more often.
Thursday, 13 September 1990:
Today we spent the majority of the day inside the hospital.
We went to the shop from 9:00–12:30 then to see some people, then in the hospital from 1:00–3:00 teaching the fellow naval Ron, who was in the bed next to this member named Fred Maynes [?].
He’s a really good bloke.
At youth today the sisters had to leave because Sister Long was quite sick all day, plus, they had to go to the store.
So me and Elder Watson got the great opportunity to take care of the kids.
They were absolute horrors.
They just ran amuck today, didn’t pay any attention to the things that I said.
I couldn’t believe it, but it was all a neat experience.
I’ve really got to work on a few things: like getting my mind on my mission and really concentrating on what’s going on here and now.
I’ve just absolutely, positively, without question needing to keep my mind off of Sister Long.
It’s starting to be a bit worse when I think about her and stuff.
So I’ve got to remember that there’s no future for us and not to worry about it.
I don’t think it’s (in fact I know it’s not) as bad as it sounds, or even half as bad as Edmonds — so not to worry — just relax. — —
Friday, 14 September 1990:
Well, one of these things that you always hear about happening, but never actually happens to you just happened to me.
While saying the prayer tonight to end the night, my companion fell asleep on me.
Usually after we say “amen,” we sit and meditate for about ten seconds, but this time my companion didn’t say anything.
And so that got me curious and I looked at him and, sure enough, for about 30 seconds he knelt there with his head resting on his hands — very reverent; his mother would be proud.
Anyway, he finally woke up and I had a bit of a laugh and he went to sleep, and now I’m here.
That’s my experience for the week.
Pretty good, eh?
I’m starting to run into the old story of just passing time by and not actually accomplishing anything.
I suppose it’s something that I’ve done for my whole mission.
I don’t really know how to break out of it.
I know that there are some beautiful choice people out there; I just can’t figure out how to find them.
I suppose we could concentrate on tracting and also [do] member referals.
I’ll say maybe work on member referals.
You know, I’ve really enjoyed myself up here in Hedland this last month.
But the only thing is [is that] I can’t see all that much that has been accomplished.
I’ve seen myself grow quite a bit, but the people around me haven’t really shifted that much as far as I can tell.
I really feel that it’s time for some better, more effective leadership up here and it’s going to have to start with myself.
I need to be a better, more effective leader.
I’ve really got to increase my effort.
There must be more things to to do; there really must be.
Sunday, 16 September 1990:
Sunday today.
Yesterday I called the sisters down in Karratha to come up for the weekend.
They were delighted to be able to come up.
They got here at about 3:10 p.m. and it was really exciting to see them (Sister Kennedy and Lauzé).
We had them over for tea tonight.
They got here at about six and helped cook a little — not much at all.
Then we ate and had a nice chat.
We even watched a video for a short time.
It was good to spend a little time with Sister Kennedy and Sister [Aileen] Daley (as they split for the night).
I really enjoy being able to see the sisters.
It looks like I’m going to have to ring [the] Tom Price elders and see what the haps is down there.
I think we’ll go down this week and see how they are and get them a bit adjusted.
Don’t tell anyone, but I’m really going to enjoy giving these sisters big hugs when they come over to Salt Lake City, because I love them so much — all of them in the right way.
Monday, 17 September 1990:
Today was a pretty slack day.
We didn’t do anything except go to the sisters and do our laundry.
Then we just sat around talking and what-not for hours.
I only wrote one letter (not that I planned to do more anyway) and we got correlation finally.
And we found out that all cars have been grounded so that we can’t drive them until next Sunday.
It was quite a shock to the system.
I don’t know if we can live without the car.
I guess we will find out.
Tomorrow we’re scheduled to go to Port Welland twice and back, plus, I’m going to Tom Price.
The elders have finally arrived there.
They were supposed to call me but didn’t and I called today, so everything is OK for them.
Tonight we had a nice testimony mtg and I really enjoyed it.
I was going to have Sister Kennedy talk, but instead we just had testimonies.
Then we correlated with Sister Long for five minutes, then with Kennedy for about an hour.
It’s really funny whenever I talk with Sister Kennedy.
I’ll ask her how she is; she’ll say, “I’m fine.”
Then she’ll always pry into me and find out how I am.
I’ll always come up with some problems I’m having.
Then she’ll explain what I need to do.
It’s good in a way: I get some help; I get to talk with someone who really cares, but also, I suppose, it shows my weaknesses a little more than I would like them to be.
But, I suppose a lot of good things came out of today.
That should be able to help me to serve right to the end.
I think I’ve not got my mind centered enough on Christ.
I really need to concentrate more on Christ — who he was, who he is, and how he acts (acted) and how I can follow in his footsteps.
It’s time for a totally dedicated effort — no more looking back — with my hands to the plow looking forward.
There’s really got to be some ways in which we can contact more people.
There must be some different ways.
I want to work hard, but I haven’t for such a long time that I think I might have forgotten how.
I don’t know what it’s like to tract for eight hours in a day.
But I’d rather work hard teaching six discussions in a day than tract for eight hours.
Anyway, it’s time for bed and I need my “beauty sleep.”
I hope I make a little bit of sense so that you can understand some of the things that I’m going through.
You know, I thought that the last two months was hard.
That’s not anything like what it’s going to be like in the next two months: lots to do and I don’t know how to do it.
Maybe I need to start listening to what the Spirit tells me.
Tuesday, 18 September 1990:
I had a really hard day today.
My companion is starting to get on my nerves and I’m a real idiot for letting it bother me.
Wednesday, 19 September 1990:
Today’s my birthday and this morning all the missionaries came over to our house (the chapel) and we had a big feed for breakfast.
Sisters Long and Kennedy came early and decorated the baptismal room and made it really neat.
The problems with Elder Watson are slowly working themselves out.
I’m not too worried about it any more.
I really feel good about working in this area.
Tomorrow we get to go down to Tom Price and help the missionaries down there get settled in.
It should be good.
Saturday, 22 September 1990:
Good day, today: found a few people and now we will start baptizing.
There’s a brush fire about 100 meters from our caravan.
It’s pretty cool — nice flames — pretty exciting.
Monday, 24 September 1990:
[6:15 a.m.] This has been an interesting week.
Our trip down to Tom Price was pretty good.
I honestly can’t imagine seeing such beautiful desert country.
I really do love it up here.
Of course, I would never come back and stay here.
But I love being a missionary up here.
This is the last week of the month and just like every other month the time comes when you look at your goals and you say to yourself,
“It doesn’t look like we’ve got two people to baptize this month.”
So then the week tends to go by with, of course, nothing happening — sort of a dead week.
Well, that’s because throughout my mission I’ve never really exercised any great deal of faith.
Now that I’m on my own up here it’s time for me to really spring up out of my hole and exercise lots and lots of faith.
I need to catch the vision of what a mission is all about.
I understand a lot about missions because I’ve been on one.
But I haven’t really caught the vision.
Now is the time to exercise great faith and to work very hard.
I can’t be afraid to work any more.
I’ve just got to get out there and find those people.
Oh, by the way, on Thursday we left for Tom Price and got back after[wards] visiting Karratha to see them [there as well].
Sister Kennedy just had her appendix out.
We drove 1000 km in the space of about 24 hours.
I really enjoyed it thoroughly.
I’d like to take a trip to Broome [460 km NE] to see what it’s like for missionary work.
Tuesday, 25 September 1990:
I enjoyed today.
This morning we went up to the hospital and were able to go around and also visit with some people in the capacity of diversional therapists.
It was pretty good.
We’ll get to help people not get so bored — by playing games with us.
We met the Anglican priest.
When the nurse asked if he wanted to talk to us, he said, “Oh, no. I know who you are, you Mormons.”
Very observant, I thought.
Then we sat and had a bit of a yawn with him.
We went to see Michael Mason.
He joined the Church down in Perth and hasn’t been to church up here.
He’s such a good guy.
He graduated High School ’88 and I’ve been trying to convince him to really think about going on a mission.
He’d make a terrific missionary as soon as he gets back into the Church and active again.
We had him over for tea tonight.
We had spaghetti; it was really good.
Then for dessert we had ice cream; I really liked it.
In the middle of dinner we had a great little spiritual experience.
We watched a video with him and I really think that it helped.
It was about gaining our own testimony.
I think he has one, but just doesn’t use it to act upon what he knows to be the right thing to do.
Great bloke.
Then I read tonight about David O. McKay.
He seemed like a terrific guy.
Thursday, 27 September 1990:
Well, I got a little package of candy from home and also two letters, so that’s pretty exciting.
I don’t open my mail until Preparation Day so I can keep my mind on the work more.
I’ll look forward to learning about what’s happening at home.
Today we spent most all of the day at the hospital.
I enjoyed it pretty good.
We spent some time with two girls who were bored out of their skulls.
They were both just young, 12 and 14.
Then at Youth it was pretty exciting.
I took one group outside and we played basketball and other exciting games.
It looks like I tend to be the one who always gets to scold the children and Sister Long is the one who runs things.
It’s good that we’re now broken up into smaller groups so that the children are much easier to handle.
My faith seems to be a bit lacking for some reason.
I really want to be a great missionary, but I need something more to be able to attract the people to the Church.
Could it be the Spirit is a lot I need?
I know that’s the tool God uses to communicate with us, so maybe that’s who I need to understand more.
Today I really felt like the Holy Ghost was talking to me and telling me some different things that I needed to do (or should I say “we”?).
Saturday, 29 September 1990:
My patriarchal blessing says, “You will see many miraculous and marvelous things come about through your works and your closeness to the Spirit.”
Well, tonight I had the most powerful manifestation of the power of Christ over the devil that I have ever seen.
Yesterday this bloke, who looked like he was about late 30’s early 40’s came up to us in the shops and was asking us about how he could contact these two missionaries from out in Tasmania about 11 years ago.
He said he’s been trying to call them or something to try to find them.
We set up a time when we could come see him today.
He said he had a prior drinking problem and that he would be sober tomorrow and we could come over and have a yawn and also tea.
We just finished teaching this bloke named Marc a First Discussion (who seems really golden).
We got over there about 5:00 p.m. and parked in front of his house and went to the door.
His little girl was there and she said, “Someone coming.”
And the mother came to the door and with the warmest smile greeted us and invited us in.
I thought that it would be just a normal evening with some interesting talking and a bit of a feed.
Boy, was I wrong!
It turned out that he was in the bedroom and he had been drinking, so he was, of course, drunk.
They had two chairs and that’s all in the living room.
We both sat in them and he sat on the floor with two cushions.
Then he started talking and going on about how he went to sail this one time and started to read the Bible.
And then he prayed to Jesus to save him from the jail and he would never do anything else wrong any more.
He stayed in the jail.
Then he decided to pray to Satan and as he did, this demon came into the cell and was with him and went inside him.
He said he talked to him and everything.
That was about 9 years ago.
He met some Mormon missionaries in Tasmania, who, he said, were his best friends: Elder Bachi and Elder Clay.
After he explained his plight to us, he started petitioning us to do something for him.
My companion Elder Watson was firm and started to build his faith in Christ and telling them that he had to believe in Christ and that he could help him.
The demon inside of him started to retaliate (and there was really an evil spirit inside him) and started to tell Bill that if he did anything he would kill him.
We had a prayer and the evil spirit blocked Bill’s ears so he couldn’t hear.
After the prayer I asked Bill to sit on the chair where I was.
The whole time we were talking to Bill the spirit kept communicating the things which we needed to do as we were going to bless him.
I was just going to explain to Bill what we were going to do, so I held his arm and said, “Bill, we’re going to put our hands on your head and bless you.”
He said back to me in a different voice, very deep and powerful, “You can not touch me. Leave me alone.”
We both unitedly raised our right hands to the square and Elder Watson (with our left hand on his head) began to bless Bill that he would be delivered from the evil spirit.
The devil inside then started to try to break us down and make us lose faith.
He started to yell, “Lucifer is lord. Christ is dead. You have no power over me.”
Me and my companion were actually speaking to this evil spirit.
We commanded them to leave.
He said, “There are nine of us and only two of you; nine to two,” which made me shiver all over.
Then I felt the need to command more powerfully than I ever have before, so I said, “In the name of Jesus Christ and by the power of the Melchizedek Priesthood I command you to leave Bill’s body, now!”
After a bit more of a struggle and some more words by my companion the demon said, “I know where my power lies; Christ has more; I will leave, but I will return in five days.”
My companion commanded him not to ever come back, but leave for ever.
He left.
Bill fell limp in the chair and we took our hands off his head and moved over.
He looked at us and said, “Is he gone?”
We said, “Yes, Bill, he’s gone.”
He told us that he felt more tired at that time than ever before.
He was really drained of everything.
We had another prayer.
Then some of his neighbors came in and we all started talking and stuff.
About seven people want to come to church today, so hopefully they will.
It was certainly a great experience to be able to have a knowledge of a few important principles:
evil spirits are real; Lucifer is real; Christ is so much more powerful than anything else; he’s given the Priesthood to his servants and as they exercise it properly then they may have power to do whatsoever is expedient in Christ.
I’m so grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who cares about each one of us.
Also to Christ be power and great glory.
It doesn’t feel good to talk about the dark side of things, so I don’t think I will too much any more.
I’ve felt both powers and now know whose is more powerful — Jesus Christ’s.
Thank you so much Heavenly Father for all that Thou hast done for me.
I love Thee very much and hope I can just be an instrument in Thine hands.
Please, continue to help me and most of all, thank you.
This would be my prayer. Amen.
Monday, 1 October 1990:
It’s now October and we weren’t able to baptize in September.
It’s interesting: we are now working with quite a few people and are helping them move forward, just a bit, and closer and closer to Christ.
We’ve been teaching Mark, who lives with Brenden Thompson and he is really thinking about getting baptized.
He’s going to Perth for three weeks, then is coming back up here again.
I hope that the trip doesn’t hurt at all.
He’s accepting all of the invitations; it’s great.
Tomorrow we will teach him a Third Discussion; it should be really good.
This fellow in the same house has been reading the Book of Mormon heaps.
He’s up to chapter 16 in about 1½ weeks.
It’s terrific to see him like that; he loves it.
His defacto close [?] is a bit more rehetent [?] but really good.
I reckon that they’ll both get baptized — terrific folks.
I got a letter from home.
I found out that Grandpa is ill and doesn’t think that he’ll live to see me again.
He’s just got to hang on five more weeks.
I really do love him dearly.
All the terrible things I did to him, I wish I never did!
I really felt (today about 6:00 p.m.) that I would not see him again and I had a bit of a cry, while I was ironing my shirt.
I haven’t cried in a long, long time.
It was good to get a bit of tears out.
Tuesday, 2 October 1990:
Today I found out how much better I know my First and Second Discussions than I know my Third.
We taught Mark today and, well, it went OK.
I just couldn’t go into it as much as I wanted to.
I wanted so badly to help him to feel the spirit — I just had a hard time teaching it.
This week I can see that I’ll be learning a lot about patience with my companion.
I really need to watch myself and try to help my companion grow.
I heard this talk by Elder Uleas [?].
He quoted President Hinckley, who said at BYU Hawaii, “Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight.”
<- * * * I think that this one was just for me.
Don’t seek only for sunlight and run away from storms, but enjoy the sunlight that I have.
I love being on a mission; I really do.
Monday, 8 October 1990:
Well, it’s P-day morning once again.
I’ve had a really interesting weekend and once again I wish I had recorded the events of this weekend when they happened.
Maybe one day I’ll learn.
On Friday night Sister Long asked for permission if she could ring Sister Kennedy.
Then, on Saturday morning I got a phone call from Sister Kennedy and she seemed a little bit worried about something and so I asked, “What can I help you with?”
She paused and said, “Well, how do I need to tell you this?”
I said, “I don’t know.”
Then she went on to try and explain a few things to me and try to find out my feelings.
She told me that Sister Long was having trouble working with me because she felt that I had some feelings for her.
I, at the time, didn’t think that I really did, so I started to really think.
She asked me to first figure out how I feel, then see about transfer and what-not.
I then said, “OK.”
I thought that was a fair statement, so I thought about it.
Then it was time to go out and work, so we went out to try to find people.
We went to the shops, then on to this fellow’s house, watched a bit of the Grand Final with him.
I really felt I couldn’t work with all this on my mind, so I also felt this incredible urge to pray.
So I said to Elder Watson, who even to this time is oblivious to what’s going on, “Let’s go get a drink.”
We weren’t that far from the chapel, so we went home and I got a drink.
Then I went into the Branch President’s office and sat there in the dark for about five minutes thinking about what I needed to do.
Basically, up until this time I didn’t think I had feelings for Sister Long.
I thought I had them under control.
Sure, I thought she was a great lady and I liked her and I even thought about her a lot, but I didn’t know where I stood.
After a bit of pondering I got down on my knees and I prayed — one of the times in my life that I’ve prayed the hardest.
I started asking Heavenly Father for some help to help me figure out what my feelings for Sister Long were.
I prayed and prayed.
Then I asked Heavenly Father some questions: “Do I have those feelings for her?”
It came back, “Well, what do you think? You’re always thinking about her first thing in the morning, then at night — what do you think?”
I fully came to terms with it.
Yep, I did have some deep feelings for her.
Well, now what?
I started thinking, “Not again!” referring to Sister Edmonds (about page 108).
So I prayed on, “Why do I have this stupid weakness?
Why do the ladies always get me?
Why do I have to be the one to fall in love with people so easily?”
So, at this point I had in mind that, “Yes, I did think I was in love with Sister Long”
but yet I knew that I couldn’t marry her.
It wouldn’t work.
No matter how much I love little brown babies, I couldn’t marry Sister Long.
So, what’s next?
Where do I go from here?
I asked if I would ever be able to overcome this problem.
He said, “Yes.” and boy, was I relieved to hear that one!
Then the thought came, “You need to call [the] president.”
I thought, “Ah, not that! Anything but that!”
I asked, “If I stayed here in Port Hedland, would I be able to work effectively without thinking all the time of Sister Long?”
”No” came back straight away.
So I asked if I was the one that needed to be transferred (as opposed to her).
“Yes.”
You know, I really, really love this place.
I love the work with the aboriginal people.
I love that people so much.
And that might be why I thought I was in love with Sister Long.
So I finally came to grips with the idea that I had to be transferred, after trying to convince Heavenly Father I could handle it.
But to no avail.
I couldn’t.
So, He wanted me to go.
So then I made perhaps the hardest phone call I’ve ever had to make and said to [the] president, “Let me put it this way: it’s happened again.”
“Who do you have feelings for this time, Elder Despain?”
“Sister Long.”
Then I went on to explain the story and let him know what I thought was going on.
He thought of a few things then said, “I’ll have a bit of a study and pray about it and call you back tomorrow.”
So Saturday night we have a great game of Basketball — best one yet: me and Sister Long on the same team.
It was wierd playing ball with her because I thought I loved her or (was infatuated with her).
So, I kept sort of avoiding her, which was hard when you’re on the same team!
So, anyway, she cornered us later that night in the kitchen, not by ourselves, and asked if she could call Sister Kennedy, but first asked if I had called her.
I said yes to both and later that next morning on Sunday.
It’s now the 7th.
She [Sister Long] called and asked if she could have a talk with me.
We agreed on after the baptism.
So we sat down together after church and the baptism and had a good chat.
We must have talked for a good hour about the whole story.
I shared with her the story of Sister Edmonds and all the rest — also about the weekend.
I found out something that gave me a big shock and in a way helped me feel more comfortable in that she told me that she was having these feelings for me and that’s why she called Sister Kennedy on the Friday night.
Whereas I thought the problem was all one-sided, like it was with me and Sister Edmonds, apparently she was going through the same things as me and I was thinking the other way round.
We had a good chat.
She shared with me how she was feeling and I with her and, well, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” were the parting statements by both of us.
I let her know how much I appreciated her and she as well how much she appreciated who I was and I told her I talked to [the] president and was considering what to do.
I rang Elder [Charles] Bosse last night and still no word, so he said he would call as soon as he found out.
I’ve grown that much more now.
I can honestly say that I’m aware of some characteristics that I want in an eternal companion.
I can’t wait to have a family — no, really I can wait as long as I need to.
But I think it would be nifty too.
I love children and even more I love little brown babies.
Monday, 8 October 1990: (night)
That night “back at the ranch.”
Well, the office called today and I’m going to be shifted to Tom Price.
It should be pretty good.
I’m sad to leave this place, but I’m glad I’m going.
As I correlated with Sister Long tonight, I realized how much I really need to forget about her and move forward “hand to the plow, not looking back.”
She said to me, “it was great, serving with you, but I’m glad you’re going.”
So, it’s funny: this is really the first time that I’ve ever had anyone fall in love with me —
she loves me but is not in love with me and I love her but am not in love with her.
I know the right lady’s out there, but I’ve got to wait till I get home to find her.
